How to Annoy People~

-Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

-In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

-Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

-If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

-Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

-Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

-Practice making fax and modem noises.

-Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

-Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

-Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

-Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

-Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

-Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

-Staple pages in the middle of the page.

-Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

-Honk and wave to strangers.

-Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

-TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

-type only in lowercase.

-dont use any punctuation either

-Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

-Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now."

-As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

-Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

-Ask people what gender they are.

-While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

-Sing along at the opera.

-Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

-Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. ------Mutter something about "psychological profiles."