Friday, April 15, 2011

How to Annoy People~

-Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
-In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
-Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
-If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
-Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
-Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
-Practice making fax and modem noises.
-Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
-Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
-Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
-Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
-Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
-Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
-Staple pages in the middle of the page.
-Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
-Honk and wave to strangers.
-Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
-TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
-type only in lowercase.
-dont use any punctuation either
-Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
-Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
-As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
-Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
-Ask people what gender they are.
-While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
-Sing along at the opera.
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
-Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. ------Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

17 comments:

  1. I don't do anything annoying :))

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  2. I am going to have to try some of these.

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  3. Some of these seem like they could get you in trouble or messy. Still an amusing read.

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  4. From now on: In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
    Forever <3

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  5. or you could put a air horn in a jeep. much giggles will be had

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  6. i am an annoying person too...
    but thanks for more tips

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  7. Very useful, will employ these tactics on my enemies :)

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  8. Man if people did these kind of things to me, I'd be pretty pissed. Haha

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  9. Ill use some of these tips to annoy my friends, haha thanks.

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  10. lol i'm gonna try some of these

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  11. Is it bad that I already do most of these?

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  12. The Hair Dryer one is priceless!

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